Your window into the female mind. This is a subreddit dedicated to asking women questions about behavior, anatomy, habits or anything else that might baffle you. We welcome inquiries from everyone into the mysteries of the feminine. Our mission is to provide a place where all women can comfortably and candidly present their viewpoints for community discussion in a non-judgmental space.
To further that goal, we have a few The quick and dirty version click the graphic for the full set: Use the search tool and FAQ before you post. This is not your personal soapbox.
No seeking medical advice. Post titles must be a descriptive, in depth question and searchable using keywords, or will be removed. No graceless posts or comments generalizing gender. No misogyny, misandry, transphobia, ageism, racism, general assholery, invalidation, or otherwise hateful or disrespectful commentary. Talk via PM or start a new thread. No specifying majority demographics or excluding minority groups based on demographics. Links MUST be accompanied by a summary.
No posting personal pictures. No linking to specific threads in other forums. No using URL-shortening sites. Please be inclusive with question phrasing. Minority users are encouraged to answer the question as it applies to themselves. Downvote only to indicate that either a comment or post does not add to discussion; not to indicate disagreement.
AskWomen benefits from honest answers with a variety of perspectives. On that note, saying, "Be honest," is rude and unnecessary.
Familiarize yourself with Reddit Use the report button on all comments and posts that violate the rules in the sidebar. We have flair for men, women, trans folks, and gender neutral people. Whether you are a woman or a man, please do not speak for all women. While men can still offer input, if your view conflicts with a woman's, we ask that you do not downvote or invalidate her response. I'm trying to be more proactive on mine, but I'm not really sure what to say in these messages.
I say what I'd like said to me. Something that shows I've read the profile, how that relates to me, compliment him, and then I'll ask a question relating to those things in his profile so that we can get a conversation started. I messaged my very awesome now boyfriend first. I only wish I had done it sooner, I had seen him around on the dating website we were both on before, but I was just so sure that he wouldn't message me back that I let it get to me.
Honestly, I wasn't a huge fan of online dating but I did have a profile for a few months. I would usually just send a message and say "hey, I saw your profile and I think you're really handsome and you seem interesting so I thought I'd just say hello. Men seemed really excited by women who made the first move so I would go for it.
And BTW - that's an awesome first message to send. It's that simple really! I bet you had lots of positive responses too! As a man on a dating site, I have to disagree. The first is to show that I actually read their profile by commenting on something they mentioned, like a story or interest. The next is to give them a next move, usually by asking a question or sometimes just an interesting conversation prompt.
The third is just to do it all in an interesting but brief way so that the message doesn't get lost in the tons that girls get. Plus, I'm pretty sure that most women discourage men from opening with something purely physical and I think that advice flies for men.
If a woman got a message that went: To those who have pointed out the different dynamics of men and women on dating Good first message to a guy online dating, I absolutely agree that is the reality of the situation.
However, I would like to think that equality-minded folk would like to see "Good first message to a guy online dating" roles become more symmetrical. Also, as other commentors in this thread have had poor results from this kind of message so even if they do get responses, do they get results? They establish an immediate focus on physical attraction and put the onus of interesting conversation on the guy. Lastly there are a plethora of women I've seen on OkC who specifically say in their profile; "don't message me if you're just interested in sex" or "don't just comment on my looks".
They're going to assume certain things about a guy messaging them and opening with physical appearance instead of personality, so why wouldn't a guy assume certain things about a girl who opens the same way?
While I agree its not "Good first message to a guy online dating" "awesome" first message, a woman's doesn't need to be. She could literally just type and most men would still respond. To be blunt it might depend on how often the guy got messaged but I don't reply to people who message something bland like "how was your weekend?
I will however read their profile and will likely reply with a message of my own if they seem interesting. I agree but double standards and the fact that a guy's box will be empty compared to hers means she most likely get a response if she meets a threshold if cuteness and first message ifs not crazy. But agreed that it sucks in keeping the conversation going after first msg. Also you can't equate how a woman online responds to how your average guy would.
Women receive gazillions of messages a day. Dudes rarely ever do so there's less nonsense to sift through for a guy. Girls get a lot more shit Good first message to a guy online dating, though, so if yours doesn't hold her interest or show that you actually an interest in her profile, it'll get deleted. And it is forced if you're only going "Hey we both like kayaking". A more natural approach would be "Hey, I like kayaking too.
What's your favorite place to go kayaking? Simply commenting on her love of kayaking won't get you far: I guess you're right on that. I'm not someone who I would consider to be charming but in the future I could make not to say something more insightful. I wasn't cut out for online dating though.
I think I'm too young for it to be honest. Guys who are older and looking for something serious don't want a girl my age and those who are my age want sex immediately. HOwever, I did get lots of responses! Just not the ones I communicated with I think that if you open with something purely physical "you're handsome" you set the tone and standard of the conversation. If I got that message I would assume that it was going to be a casual sex kind of a thing because the girl didn't mention my profile, interests, or interesting photos.
If you ever try to give it another shot maybe lead with those kinds of things. If you are looking for something serious I would open up with a question or comment about shared interests, or questions about something intriguing the person does. Opening up with a comment on physical attractiveness sets the stage for something less serious.
Pretend that you are at a party, you just overheard them say their profile to another person at the party, "Good first message to a guy online dating" you want to muscle your way into the conversation. Muppet Treasure Island was basically my entire childhood and now I'm not sure how to feel about it.
You know, pick the thing in that you are excited about about them, and just launch into talking about that thing, and if they want to talk about that thing with you they will. I messaged a guy first once. We went to the same school but I didn't recognize him so I wrote "hello fellow [mascot]. I don't know if he got nervous that maybe somehow I knew him or something. I didn't recognize him at all and we had no FB friends in common this was Tinder.
It definitely turned me off to sending the first message. I rarely get messaged so I thought it would be a good idea to message a guy but nope! Well I would keep on doing it.
I can understand why that would make you feel that way though! I know I had a few people message me back and say "sorry, not my and stuff like that. However, the majority of the time I got responses. I wouldn't let one match ruin your experience! I honestly got less of a response than my "Hey, how are you?
Thank god for OKC filtering otherwise my inbox Good first message to a guy online dating be full to bursting with year-old men asking me to do the sex. Otherwise, I mostly got either "Hi, how are you" messages, copypastas some unusually long and creepy and the occasional good message I would reply to. But I learned quickly that because I present myself as a nerdy girl, most nerd guys would latch onto that and only ask me about my favorite Firefly character and the conversation would fizzle out eventually.
Nothing wrong with nerd guys who ask about our mutual interests, but that doesn't exactly dig deep or pique my interests. I feel I have this issue but Good first message to a guy online dating only happens to me online when meeting someone new, I have never had trouble keeping a conversation in person. The ones that fizzle out are the ones that never try to dig deeper than "do you have siblings" or "do you like Ocarina of Time or Wind Waker better?
It's stuff you can learn from a questionnaire. If he is a good guy, he'll likely message back. wide-ranging knowledge of millennials and online dating that has set her apart from the rest. " Girls get so many bad first messages in online dating. Unfortunately, many guys try to message a bunch of girls, instead of just the ones who are the best.
We analyzed over first contacts on our dating site, OkCupid. Our program looked at keywords and Online dating advice at its best.
Let's go: It could be that women like guys who write mumbly. But either way: men.